We were packed and ready to leave UB for a night in the Terelj National Park just as Kathryn was reaching breaking point with the city. The constant chaos was bedeviling her vigilance or paranoia, depending on your perspective. Unfortunately our pick-up was late as the driver 'forgot' to come and get us. This allowed us (or forced us, again depending on perspective) to take another quick turn around the streets of the capital while we waited. Along the way we made the following amusing observations that make UB unique:

1. SkyNet is not only here, but purportedly everywhere, since 2007. Those of you who know you're Terminator movies will appreciate that this is ominous. Although Judgment day was supposed to be during 2007 wasn't it?

2. There is a block of Lego. Nothing more, nothing less.

3. Both the statues of the revered Genghis (Chinggis) Khan and his pictured soon Kuble activate our cameras 'Blinked Eye Detected' function. This may have represented a case of commercial racism or maybe they just believe they're all blinking, a lot.

3. The fur-lined Ger tent is the traditional Mongolian home. Parked near our hotel was the traditional Mongolian mobile home.

4. You know that gunk you get stuck under your finger nails? We found where it comes from.

5. The Ulaanbaatar University is not necessarily on the same austere and grand level as Oxford or Cambridge.

6. The UB ski fields. All 5 runs.



Once our driver did arrive it allowed us a new perspective into Ulaanbaatar's traffic, this time from inside the storm. Driving involves a lot of mad swerving, horn blaring and driving into any spare area of space you can find, on either side of the road. Cars may be right or left hand drive. A pattern of driving did emerge to some extent, that being turn, look, brake suddenly, horn, accelerate hard, repeat.


By following this system we found our way out of UB and onto the road to Terelj. Along the way we got to see some of the surrounding suburbs consisting of modest wooden houses and dusty Gers all enclosed in frameworks of wooden fences. These surrounded each and every dwelling. Sometimes fences existed even without a dwelling. In fact fencing seemed such a priority that a single Ger was surrounded on 3 sides by a thick, six foot tall concrete wall. The fourth, road facing side, was left open, seemingly failing the defensive objective of the rest of the wall. But perhaps it is the prestige of such a wall is what really matters? If this is so then the Chinese had put the flame in front of the moth with their Great Wall. Genghis and friends couldn't resist: "Hey, Genghis, you know how good fences are right? Well you've got to come south and look what these Chinese have done. Bring your friends. There's a toboggan and everything" and off they'd ride to the terror of the Chinese.


As we approached and entered the park we encountered numerous forms of wild life including falcons, wild cows, horses, two-humped camels, sheep and dinosaurs. The landscape changed from flat tundra to hilly, mountainous with the first trees we'd see in 100's of kilometres. Amongst this were a number of rock formations resembling things that were pointed out to us - a pig, a turtle and a man praying (presumably for a really nice fence). Kathryn also managed to see several rocks that looked like poo's.


The change in topography was also heralded a change in temperature. It was actually cold for the first time so far. There was even snow, much to Kathryn's delight. The whole scenery was a pleasant change from the madness in the city and made the long travel worthwhile. The cold, vast openness was exactly the foreign, far-away landscape that one pictures when thinking of Mongolia. We were somewhere different.



Our hotel was an indulgence of luxury before two more nights sharing a compartment with who-knows who. And it may well be the nicest hotel in Mongolia. It was plush and luxurious from the lobby. A quick tour revealed a manner of assorted facilities including a library, a cigar room (where paradoxically one 'could enjoy cigars or the fresh mountain air'), indoor pool, a karaoke room, a statue of Lenin, a statue of a woman who never existed but served as an allegorical figure for the Soviets that Lenin produced, and even a gentlemen's club - unfortunately this went unvisited.



In return for the tardiness of the hotel's driver we were offered a free horse-ride which we took up. We imagined an hour or so touring around the surrounding hills and forest. Instead we were put aboard two 'mentally affected' horses (although this may have been due to Gavin's presence - a special power he has to make horses behave like somebody had lit them on fire) and lead for 5 minutes up and down the same road we'd come in on. Now technically we had ridden a horse so the hotel had fulfilled its promise of a 'horse ride'. Well hotel, with respect, shit-house.



In fairness the rest of the hotel and the staff were very nice and we had a good dinner of average Mongolian food including an accidentally ordered shot of vodka (yes, accidentally). Then came the spectacular awesomeness that is us in private Karaoke, much to the be/amusement of the hotel staff.





And finally back to our peculiarly small room, peculiar as with miles of empty space in every direction why would you cram a bed into a cupboard? Nonetheless we spent a short time watching the only English language television channel -Fashion TV, on which models strut around wearing almost nothing. We both found something to enjoy it. Now settled into our bijou luxury the sparks flew. No I don't mean whatever salacious innuendo you're assuming, I mean it literally. The static electricity was phenomenal. It had first been an issue in Beijing but here in Terelj it reached new heights. We became afraid to touch anything metal or each other for the fear of the visible sparks and loud crack of the current discharging from us. You had to make sure you were well earthed before any physical contact.